the Healing Power of Music: A Journey of Accountability & Growth
Fun fact about me: music plays a huge role in my life and has contributed significantly to my growth and development. It's also been a huge part of my healing journey.
I swooned over my father's love for old country and classic rock as a little girl. "Stairway to Heaven was my senior song, best song ever written!" he'd say. I have yet to question the validity of this statement, and I never will. I listened to "Mary Jane's Last Dance" by Tom Petty on repeat my entire drive from Wyoming to South Carolina at 22. I cried, chain-smoked American Spirits and crappy weed while I ruminated on the pain in my life I was running from at the time, fantasizing that I was who Tom was singing about- a ramblin’ girl so perfectly aloof and cool, the kind of girl I knew I could never be. Heck, I even have “buy me a drink, sing me a song, take me as I come ‘cause I can’t stay long.” tattooed on my ribs... Those were the days.
Today, minus the underpriced weed and overpriced tobacco, I still feel a kinship to the lyrics written before my time. When boredom actually created art, poetry took the form of a robust rebellion that captured the hearts of a generation who just wanted freedom, rock’n roll, and to stick it to the man.
"Already Gone" by the Eagles is one of the most influential songs in my life at the moment. I’ve been listening to it every morning while I make breakfast. Why?
Aside from the fact I'm an old soul, those lyrics toward the end are a constant reminder of the importance of accountability and self-governance.
"I know it wasn't you who let me down.
Heaven knows it wasn't you who set me free.
So oftentimes it happens that we live our lives in chains, and we
never even know we have the key."
I have had to do many drastic things to overcome my "poor me" attitude. I experienced what I would describe as traumatic events in my life, and those events made me feel sorry for myself. What I didn't know at the time was that, its okay to feel bad for yourself but you have to have the discipline to not drop anchor there. It's HARD to break free once you let yourself be a victim and stay that way.
I still need daily reminders, and this song helps me remember that no one gets to let me down OR set me free.
That's my job.
Events don't decide the trajectory of my life; my attitude about the events does. My perspective of and my relationship with "suffering" is my responsibility. No one else's.
I am the steward of my happiness, the cultivator of my attitude, and the creator of my choices. I get to decide the quality of my life. I decide how I choose to feel. I wake up and decide every day that I am strong and capable, and getting here isn't easy.
What does this discipline create? Dignity in myself, a strengthened sense of trust in my intuition and my choices. It allows me to deviate from self-abandon. It has revolutionized my mental health and helped me to ditch the shitty self-talk that once infected every cell in my body. Taking ownership of my life, turning inward, and resisting the temptation to point fingers at external factors are, in my opinion, the most important life skills a person could cultivate.
Many of us didn't learn this growing up, so we have to teach ourselves as adults. It's quite the process, and having been draped in a victim mentality makes us feel so helpless and alone that we often need help navigating these muddy waters until we get some practice and find our footing.
That's why, as a health coach, I prioritize exercising this accountability muscle. At the end of the day, when the coaching program is done and you're back on your own, I want to make sure you have the tools necessary to make decisions that align with your values and uphold them. As a coach, I've seen repeatedly how often people practice self-abandonment but call it by a different name. I think victim mentality can morph into a form of self-sabotage, abandonment, and excuse-making.
Simultaneously, I want to emphasize my love and empathy for the part of you that self-abandons and sabotages because it's such a painful place to be. I know because I've been there, and it is not forever. You do not have to stay this way!
We must find the things that speak to us, and art, in any form, has the power to do this. It awakens our spirits, encourages us to be creative, and liberates us from "the man" (AKA the bland corporate influence within our society that tries to squeeze us into little boxes and strip us of our individuality)
What are the art forms that inspire healing for you? Please share with me in the comments below!
For a coach who can help you find your inspiration and tap into your healthful creativity, click this link and book a free call! Maybe we can fight "the man" together...
Don’t live your life in chains when you are holding the key!
Happy healing!
Betsy
